


Fill

by Anonymous



Category: Homestuck, Rotkäppchen | Little Red Riding Hood (Fairy Tale)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, M/M, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-14
Updated: 2011-01-14
Packaged: 2017-10-16 02:46:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/167592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Captchalogue Prompt:Let's corrupt a classic children's tale! :D<br/>John is little blue riding hood.<br/>Karkat is the big bad wolf.<br/>Ends in slash. ;)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fill

Okay, I'm just gonna go for it. Apologies if this causes any undue unrest.

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Once upon a time there was a boy named John who wore a blue hooded cape – or at least he did after he died for the second time. For the purposes of this story, we are going to call him Little Blue Ridding Hood, even though no one ever called him that. Little Blue had a grandmother who was a ghost mixed with a creepy clown and a spirit guide and, as far as LB could tell, could not feel pain, hunger, or get sick. Despite all this, Little Blue’s father decided to bake said grandmother a lot of small cakes and cookies for no good reason, and then send his only son to deliver them.

This plot is already looking somewhat weak.

“I bet these are all Betty Crocker,” Little Blue muttered, peeking under the red and white checker kerchief that covered his basket. The smell of chocolate and vanilla wafted toward him, burying so deeply into his nose he nearly gagged. Blasted, evil woman and her sugary confections.

With a shudder he re-covered the snacks and glanced around, gaining his bearings. Little Blue Riding Hood was still pretty new to the Land of Wind and Shade and he often got lost. He could put the basket in one of the parcel dispensers and save himself time, but it could just as easily end up in the hands of some random salamander or imp. Little Blue did not quite understand how this whole “divine breeze” thing worked either.

“This would be a lot easier if I hadn’t lost that medallion…” Little Blue whispered.

“Sure would be, Fucknuts.”

Now how many people did Little Blue know who insulted him like that?

“Karkat?” Sure enough, a figure around Little Blue’s height emerged from behind a corner, a scowling, grey-skinned boy with pointy teeth and nubby horns. For some inexplicable reason, he was wearing a pair of fake wolf-like ears and a furry faux-tail. Though Little Blue has just named this character, we will be referring to him as The Big Bad Wolf.

How the hell did he get here, when anyone familiar with the source material knows he is stuck in The Veil? Did Nepeta jump him and deck him out for some kind of strange role-play? Does anyone even care?

“Who else would it be, you pitiable waste of air?” Big Bad said, scowl deepening.

Though they had spoken many times before, this was the first time Little Blue had actually seen a troll, so he stared rather openly. After a few moments, he offered this deep, penetrating insight: “Dude, trolls are so weird.”

Big Bad snorted, “Says the weak, pink monkey with piss-poor eyesight.”  
Little Blue opened his mouth to assure The Wolf that he was only _slightly_ near-sighted, thank-you-very-much, but was cut off when the other boy thoroughly invaded his personal space and grabbed his basket.

“What the fuck is this thing?” Big Bad asked with his usual tact.

Little Blue huffed. “A basket. And that was kinda rude, man.”

The Big Bad Wolf shrugged and tossed the kerchief off to the side, obviously expecting to be just as underwhelmed by what he found inside. However, upon seeing the sweet contents of the woven container, he visibly perked up, an action that did not go unnoticed by Little Blue.

“You like cookies?” Big Bad did not answer, but there was little need when he was salivating so much, “Go ahead and have a few; I doubt Nanna will miss them.”

He did not need to be told twice.

After four cookies, Little Blue was starting to think that he should probably stop Big Bad soon. After seven, he was sure of it. And when the troll polished off his thirteenth, Little Blue figured he should probably step in before he was delivering a basket full of crumbs.

“Uh, Karkat?” No acknowledgement and The Big Bad Wolf was already reaching for his fourteenth, “Karkat?” Still nothing. Deciding that simply saying his name was not going to cut it, Little Blue crept right up to his friend’s ear and shouted, “Karkat!”

“GAH, WHAT?” Big Bad suddenly snapped to attention, coming out of a daze. He clutched the basket to his chest instinctively, as if protecting a small child. Little Blue Riding Hood tugged on the handle, hoping he would get the hint.

“The cookies, dude. I need to get at least some of them to their destination or Dad will have my head.”

Big Bad stood there for a second blinking then _growled_ – seriously fucking _growled_ – and jerked the basket out of Little Blue’s grasp. Or, at least, that was the intention. Instead, the Heir stumbled forward, landing awkwardly with his face in Big Bad’s shoulder, one hand still latched onto the basket and the other now grasping Big Bad’s upper arm.

At some point this story took a drastic turn from the well-known folk tale, but it’s rather hard to derail a train going at full speed, so to speak.

Big Bad flushed slightly, “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” He demanded, voice pitched higher than he’d like.

“Hey, look, you’re the one pulling me around!”

“Oh, get off!”

Big Bad gave Little Blue a rough heave, but failed to take into account the hand still clutched to his treasure. Little Blue Riding Hood got off him sure enough, and with him went the cookies, flying through the air in a graceful arch that culminating in a spectacular splash in a near-by oily creek. Silenced reigned for a good minute before Karkat turned a hard gaze on the sprawled human.

It took Little Blue a second to figure out why the troll was glaring. “Okay, now that was not my fault.”

“Don’t care,” Big Bad hissed, taking a step forward, one fist grinding into his palm.

We pause here to express that mutilation is, of course, not the point of this story. Originally at least, this tale was simply an extended metaphor about sexual harassment, intended to keep young girls on their toes when venturing out alone. If we were to attempt one last saving throw at keeping this story accurate, The Wolf would be more interested in Little Blue’s vulnerable state than the fact he just lost a bunch of baked goods.

The Big Bad Wolf paused mid-stride, as if suddenly contemplating the above narration. Little Blue almost swore the fake ears on his head were twitching in thought.

“That works, too,” Big Bad said with a crooked smile.

“What works?”

Before the caped boy could be offered any such explanation, The Wolf was straddled across his hips with his hand around his throat, forcing his head to the ground with a harsh crack. Little Blue groaned, his head pounding, and tried to wiggle away.

“Seriously, Karkat –” Little Blue started. But never finished.

Lips came down hard on Little Blue’s, capturing the rest of his sentence. The kiss was all teeth and biting and hot, hurried breaths, too harsh and forceful to really be enjoyable, and yet somehow it was. Sharp troll teeth tore at Little Blue’s mouth, breaking the skin. The Wolf sucked at LB’s lower lip, licking up the blood, and _that_ Little Blue didn’t know how to take at all. Confused and balancing a strange edge between pain and pleasure, the human pushed at his captor, pulling at the clawed hand digging into his neck to no result. God tier or not, Big Bad was still physically stronger than him.

When Big Bad finally pulled away, Little Blue’s face was a deep red and his mouth smeared with blood.

“What the hell, Karkat?” John gasped, head ringing from lack of air.

“Seemed like the thing to do,” He grumbled, forsaking the captured boy’s mouth in favor of biting at his neck. Red scratches appeared across his throat, accompanied by gasping noises from Little Blue. There was no longer a hand holding him down, but Little Blue Riding Hood did not move.

Little Blue sucked in air though his teeth when The Big Bad Wolf nibbled an oddly sensitive spot near his collar bone. This time he was sure he saw the fake ears twitch as the troll chuckled.

“What… what sharp teeth you have, grandma.”

“All the better to eat you with, John.”

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People seem to like the fanon that Karkat loves his cookies. I ran with that and ended up with this. Hope it's okay, OP!


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